As I sat and stared at the brown bag
My mind wandered
Like this bag, I have stored up things inside
Filled past the recommended weight limit
But, the bag is only paper
Unlike me, it is so fragile
Or, am I that frail too?
Ready to burst at any minute
Do you judge me bag?
What makes you think you are any different?
Eventually, you spill your contents
You fill someone else up with what’s inside you
But that’s the difference isn’t it?
You have been filled by another and give away what you hold to one who asks
I fill myself with worries and doubt
Who can give that away?
Who wants to give that away?
Is there someone who would listen?
Is it not better to come alive by the filling and emptying of that which is worthwhile?
Anger and despair lurk in every corner
Creeping they crawl unexpected
My heart – tortured and wounded
Like an infections poison, they take over
Gangrene, it spreads through my blood
Coursing through its veins and arteries
Depression hits and I can feel it
It is all over my body like an ache that would not leave.
Then, like that it is gone
A snap of the fingers and a flick of the wrist
It’s gone, but the smell lingers
The smell of disdain is seeping out of my pores
I want, I need detoxification
A flush of the fluids will make me whole again
Distraction leads to…what?
Who says one thing leads to another?
Openly madness, yet sincere
Wrought by the desctruction led to by distraction
Labotomy – cut open the mind
Test the thoughts – put them in a tube
Find what leads one thing to another
Find the true distraction – the root of all the others
You won’t. You can’t. It lies not within the mind, but within the core
The heart. Beats with distraction. Beats true.
Like a wasteland
Sit a pair of lips
Dry and cracked
Speaking nonsense to the wind
They have no tongue
Nothing to refresh
The emptiness of their words
Spitting and spraying
Saliva litters the air
For these lips are not mine
They are lost without an owner
Small child – barely able to walk
Comes up the aisle – a smile lights his face
Mother’s hand in his – his other touches each pew
Reaches out and points – there it is!
Here is where we will sit – mother nods and smiles
Making their way down the row as people shift their knees – space parts like the red sea
Empty spot opens up – boy trips, falls hard
Mother’s concerned but he is all right
Stands up with bottle in hand – child drinks
Instantly falls – never to walk again
Mother cries – weeps in agony
Poison in the pew
Rice in the sky
Opening doorways to a new convention
Lie listless with little attraction
When making plans to start a new world
It helps to think ahead
Otherwise, shoulders grow weary
as Atlas maybe will spill
Alphabet soup can spell out pain
Much better than a willing heart
All in all it comes to this
Do you have the will to call it your own,
The strength to hold an opinion
Or the determination to open the doors
of Uncertainty when winds are beating them shut harder than you can imagine?
Have you ever noticed the strange little ritual dance that we as humans do whenever there is that awkward moment when two people are walking towards each other in the same path and both try to move to the opposite side, but that side is the same one which the other person tries to go to. This continues back and forth five or six times until one person decides to stand still and let the other pass just so it doesn’t get too confusing. You would think that it wouldn’t take more than once or twice of this sidestepping motion until at least one person figures out what is going on. In general however, we as humans are not capable of thinking that quickly. We actually often both stop at the same time to let the other person through. This should spark conversation as the two people have realized that they both now have something in common…it took the same amount of time for each to come to the same conclusion. It never does though. How unreal!